After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
