today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Randomize