Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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