So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I thought spray tan was a myth
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.