yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.