Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
