that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
