You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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