Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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