I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
