Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
