i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
