New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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