I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
