I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
