well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize