Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
