9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Terrible idea I love it
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
