I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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