who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
