Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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