I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
It was confusing and full of hummus
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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