My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
