it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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