Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
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