Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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