I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
