if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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