Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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