the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
