Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
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