your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize