Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.