the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?