About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life