HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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