When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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