If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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