You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
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