I like to think it a success when the cops are called
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
