Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
She bit a glass in half.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
