you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
