True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
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