I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
