Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
