After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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