she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
