i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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