If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
