So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
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