there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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