It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
