i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
