The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
