So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
