I wish I only lived at night.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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