HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
she pinky promised me she was 18
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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