Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
