why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
it was like eating out sand paper
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm having to shit out rocks
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