Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
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They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
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I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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