the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You are a genius and a whore.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
