At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
