her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Randomize
