If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
