OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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