1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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