Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Shame - the story of my life.
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