so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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