Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
