I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?