i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila