i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.