But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
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I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
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I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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