I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
