You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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