This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
